Freddie Prinze JR.'s Journal

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Freddie Prinze JR.'s Journal

Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

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2004.12.02 04.18
psychadelic band name


pedestrian number four is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

Mood: publicity
Music: yea



	2004.09.19 00.41 Me and you and me and you and MAura (Live coverage from Sutter Home on the New England Seacost) We're here coming to you live on this brisk November day LIVE from UNH!! I'm joined by my co-host Maura Gaughanholme. Maura how do you feel? MAURA: chardonet is not a friend of salsa so salsa dances and i ooze. love is so amusing theres no piece of mind.... ooooze oh ooooze oh.. is this the sort of thing that people used to do, is this, oh, is this one of those, oh things? i do not never not know about these things until after they are done and participated it. until there is patricide fratricide patricide sisterside b-side. and thats how i feel and thats how i say things when i say them about that. fuck viet.... NAM. BOB: Well trhat about says it does it not? I mean does it know flokes? I'm particularly embarassed on account of the fzact that im dutch, now dont go passingt that out on flyers and handouts becuase a netherlands origin is no laughing/sharing matter, thats something betweek me and my GAWD she lookah so fine and now she is dancin around to Blondie, the band. MAURA: hello sexies and not-so's. this is madame dont stop sure shot. and once i saw her, old and dumpy, not to say the madame wasn't still a bit sexy. and once she shed light on her embarrassment having rapped and hip-hopped and dropped on a rhyme on the punk rock . and then dad said, oh chicky babe and miss debbie (toast to saving days, the band once and forever lonesome) was truly a bit sexy and oh chicky babe, it is now all so sad having grown old and having hipped the hop. and the truest feathered rocker dispenses his 2 cents on sense... BOB: And back=ahh to me ahh at 23.6 kilo-bobs per second. I am on the top of the earth lookin down on creation is crucifiction and crucifiction is inventing the high table and taking all the credit like a fucking martyr. But Jesus is OK in my boouke, granted he is nothing more than a optimistic philosopher with a GREAT publicist. God knows I'd get published in a millisec if Jahovah was my literary agent. Fuck all that is, in a slow and loving way, make sure to. even if you think he doesnt listen to the same bands, what a pervert... MAURA: would a pervert shout and impose on my girlishness, indeed a tall drink of water of life of blood, of his body and lets not forget, his sweet bench pressing titfucker of a rib. and would your professor cry and spread his legs for you? or would he (megan is a funny girl and brooklyn truly oh so oh so was oh quite the fun) do curls or curl his hair. and would you, if named J.C, rise? oh i'm sure you would- wasting time and widdling windsor chairs with a certain merrimack politician. sometimes we doubt him. sometimes we praise him. we always are reeds ferry. striken by a chord of finalite (en francais oh lala) PS i will be the beauty in the red dress with the rod of french bread and the twisty silky careful hairdo on la rive gauche. BOBBE: Well that apparently wraps up our live simulcast from Sutter Home in Durham, NH 03eight24. So to all a good night and be shiny for when he comes from afar he shall see you so much better. CHUCK MOWER and JESUS CHRIST: Goodnight Volk!!



	2004.05.15 16.34 Snap! Snap! Who's that cat in the stupid beret? Which way do we turn When we get off the exit- GALACTIC DINOSAUR! BURGER PROMOTION -full of 99 cent promises Don’t forget to save receipts giant. support. beams. But (modestly) play down their sexual prowess, while teamsters dress them in drywall like an anxious mother on prom night. Can you get my zipper? Did you forget to bring the condoms? Charlie Parker’s 20” Rims: Big Black Faces Holler ‘Bout Breaking Benjamins (on 2$ Bottles of Booze) paid to intimidate pasty white faces like mine into paying their producers to pay them to holler ‘Bout Breaking Benjamins Falling Faces Funnier when Fast: Scooter’s speed transfers when tripping on hoses, through water like Moses. Nose-blood mixes with parted puddle runoff, so they laugh till he cries.



	2004.03.30 23.54 Sacagawea and the Golden Fleece by Nancy Drew When Robert opened the door he had no idea what to expect. A knock at this hour? Who the fuck knocks on a man’s door at 4 AM? Robert was awake unusually late and the knock cutting through the still, thin air of the night startled him beyond words. An involuntary “Hoo-Sah! Ffff-” escaped from his lips as he knocked Cap’n Crunch all over his encyclopedias. “Be this the dwelling of one Robert McKenzie?” boomed the muffled voice from beyond the door. “No, man. This is Bob Jackson’s room. I don’t know no Robert McKenzie.” “Be this the dwelling of one Robert McKenzie?” the voice persisted. “For chrissakes man, you have the wrong place. Please leave me alone.” “This is indeed the dwelling, Mr. McKenzie. Shall I break down the door?” Robert turned a nervous glance to his coat rack which held his umbrellas. He buttoned the fly of his plaid boxer shorts, snatched up a long black umbrella with a steel tip and began to turn the knob. “Naw man, I’ll let’choo in.” “You leave me no choice Robert McKenzie. I will now destroy your door.” The gaunt figure, tall and emaciated with sunken eyes, his tattered coat hanging off him like a war-torn flag on a pole, raised a fist and shook it hard. His mere quality cut through Robert, zapping his ribcage. Convulsing, sputtering out primitive grunts and squeals, Robert lunged toward the figure and hacked at it with the umbrella. Burgundy fluid spattered across the white walls and seeped into the carpet. Coming to his senses, Robert found himself wrapped in a bloody coat kneeling in a puddle that stretched two doors down in both directions. No body, no bones, no chunks of flesh. Only a shredded coat and 55 liters of dolphin blood. Music: 250 Halloween Horror Sounds



	2004.03.30 23.18 "The written word is very inefficient to me." "The most beautiful way that I see the world is when I see deer and bunny - when you see them on the golf course or in the back yard or in the forest or in the desert. When I see a deer or a bunny, I feel like that's a safe place, a very nice place to be, because they're very fragile. And, if they can live there, then it must be a safe place. Wherever they exist is where I want to be." -The Man May 2003 Cannes, France



	2004.03.25 17.31 Wicked Web Presence http://www.tonyandpals.com/bios/massmacabre.html http://www.tonyandpals.com/bios/seanowen.html http://www.tonyandpals.com/bios/thenogoodnics.html http://www.tonyandpals.com/bios/figure6.html http://www.tonyandpals.com/bios/illbreed.html http://www.tonyandpals.com/bios/smashcity.html Music: ShitOuttaLuck (Things are this way because societys fucked)



	2003.05.09 02.39 garage sale!! say it, don't spray it... Music: full moon - the righteous assholes



	2003.05.07 11.33 bobby the ham This is a story about Duncan the Duff, some would call him an ass clown no? Well I certainly would, after what he did to Walter, that great stooge. Fact is, Duncan ain’t never had nobody, nor did nobody never had old Duncan the Duff. What time tells us is that any measure of an instant is a manifestation of an exercise in pure futility, unadulterated futility to be sure. The only way to be truly sure, however, is to remove all doubt by incinerating (annihilating if you will) the entire system from which Duncan, Dank, Duff, Walter and their collective wristwatches had sprung; a true hat-fuck. But there in lies the equation pivotal to our discussion: fuck=love? Or rather, scorch=fishpolice=capitolcritters, which are, when closely analyzed, one and the same equation. Permit a nigga to demonstrate (not to de-monstrate a monster, removing his or her monster qualities, but rather to prove my example): here we have a mutt, a dog with mixed origin, should this mutt breed he will spread his genetically inferior seed into a system that will not allow the machinations of such a reckless breeding through it’s supple gate. We can now conclude that, given the patient’s tendency toward uncontrollable surges of pain in which he tears at the wallpaper to calm himself, Walter will, in fact, walk again. see Fuckles the Clown by Morissa Sherman Mood: touched Music: force field of might - the passionate soldiers of destiny



	2002.10.30 17.55 Brown Tom on medicine Phil Cote-dude do you like skating Mike Cote-naw dude, that shit's gay * * * CeelingFan: is this better? CeelingFan: bro haim? Phillyroll: ? CeelingFan: dude its fucking ted CeelingFan: from fucking mass CeelingFan: remember your new england birth experience? CeelingFan: it was i who were there CeelingFan: with all the fixings CeelingFan: are you still there, lawmaker? Phillyroll: i don't know you dude CeelingFan: dude, he says CeelingFan: cool enough to say dude, but not for old ted CeelingFan: i see how it is you crazy asshole Phillyroll: where you from? CeelingFan: Mass CeelingFan: M CeelingFan: ass CeelingFan: blast beat city Phillyroll: you live in mass? CeelingFan: no CeelingFan: i live in blast beat city CeelingFan: im from mass CeelingFan: we were sprang from the same wretched gash you and i Phillyroll: where is blast beat city? CeelingFan: its near my mothers house CeelingFan: who shares a cunt with yours CeelingFan: she washes clothes in the same bath Phillyroll: what's your last name? CeelingFan: legend Phillyroll: do you know my name? CeelingFan: my name? CeelingFan: im ted legend CeelingFan: do you know ogreman Phillyroll: do you know what my name is? CeelingFan: of course i do CeelingFan: but i cant say it over this raft CeelingFan: meet me at the raffi show CeelingFan: bring those new kicks Phillyroll: what raffi show? CeelingFan: oh fuck you CeelingFan: seriously Phillyroll: tell me my name and i will show CeelingFan: fuck you AND your whore of a mother CeelingFan: you will show me huh? Phillyroll: if you say my name NOW CeelingFan: you will SHOW me CeelingFan: brown tom CeelingFan: this is brown tom no? Phillyroll: how are you fucker? CeelingFan: hahaha CeelingFan: not bad man CeelingFan: not bad at all Phillyroll: im horny as hell CeelingFan: yea no shit me too CeelingFan: theres sexy girls all over yea? Phillyroll: some crazy chick over here now Phillyroll: thinkin train chooo chooo CeelingFan: is it rogers old GF? CeelingFan: im too far from her hips Phillyroll: no, it's jules CeelingFan: ahhh CeelingFan: tell her that she reaks of rotten gash Phillyroll: come do her with me dude, yes? CeelingFan: i said im too far! CeelingFan: listen to me when i speak CeelingFan: watch out CeelingFan: for me Phillyroll: suck my cock! Phillyroll: bitch CeelingFan: oh give me a breakdance CeelingFan: flashdance rather CeelingFan: how is it that we fell off the same CeelingFan: did you go soft inside her? CeelingFan: hates when that does happen she does Phillyroll: nope, me ate me hard on medicine CeelingFan: brown tom, i fucking hate you * * * one time i went over mike cote's house in 5th grade because i thought he looked like macaulay culkin and we threw eggs at his house together. Mood: sore Music: Sugar Bears ate my gown



	2002.10.20 22.39 to anyone who's feeling down, hurry up and get hit by a bus florist-do you know what time the bus comes? the lord-which bus? florist-the cunt bus. the lord-ohhh haha, twelve fifty * * * the0greman: hey ogreman the0greman: we have similar interest yes? the0greman: why not share in our screen name the0greman: (with one another) the0greman: :-D<----will simth the0greman: how are you doing? the0greman: jim, im gonna kill your whore of a mother the0greman: you reak of her cunt the0greman: were u born the day before last the0greman: is your job a stressful one? the0greman: ill bet the0greman: id bet it is, id be willing to bet money the0greman: man, you think you know someone, wait a day or two the0greman: thats what i always say the0greman: isnt that the way it is? the0greman: i agree with your views the0greman: lets chill in the courtyard, on my boat maybe? having club sandwiches? the0greman: i make a mean buff the0greman: u cant fuck with this, james the0greman: it's you and i the0greman: friends till the end the0greman: the end of it the0greman: you're no fun....ogreman * * * Name: jim helton Location: houston tx`` Sex: Male Marital Status: yes Hobbies & Interests: golf crosswords people watching Favorite Gadgets: packard bell Occupation: air traffic controller Personal Quote: when you think you know what life is all about....wait a day or two * * * phil-what a loser, haha! post office clerk-what a cool asshole. Mood: bouncy Music: Taylor Dane - Can't Fight Fate



	2002.10.10 09.36 wish bob go! happy birth time experience bob, you've earned it yea!



	2002.10.09 15.17 Apple picking=Staight clownin' Since i've been here it's been one left armed pitcher after another. It's a nice change of pace though as I was more used to a cold cup of whale and a helipad to sleep away the day(sszzzz_). Now onto the proofread: Juan was a lonely cat, He wandered around in his car, It was a nice car too, the kind you have sex with pretty girls in. Tom chartered a hot air balloon, They would meet half way, Before they met, and he could give her the letter, the one that would change it all, the news broke out that Shannon had died. The hot air balloon sank behind the horizon, and there it stayed, tucked away for none to enjoy ever again... The archery competition was today, had I been awake I might have gone. I like archery, but the cute girl was gonna be there, I would have said something dumb anyways. Mood: good Music: Crash Test Dummies



	2002.08.25 03.10 liquid lies of claparappa the roadster clap the hands clappah clappy clap clap smash clifda clap punch clap off clap hap rafter clap rigging up the poolhouse, rigging up the poolhouse with Al-Fon-So, Ribiero'd fo her pleasingnessivitation rights of passage with a library card in hand gettin swee-ped off them fee-ted growing owls in the frest like ita wassah mah job raisin livestock to seel to sun maidren of iron for the crimes you commat rabbit lifes revolve round their habitat-tat sinking every last dollar into the same corvette that your (step) sister's friend bought you when you were only ten swing job fellas get all the chicks and its a well known fact that i lost my left shoe i was told to be bold so i keeps it that way offmy feet to the beat you can freak it this way catch the bus dont be late for school again big fish on the top and theyll ride them back in tell judith light she can keep my baseball card binder if she mails me back my (soul) patch, the one with gg allin on the front. Mood: quixotic Music: I wasn't in the right



	2002.07.18 03.27 La Parka I knowed that all along. Surveying, what a course!!



	2002.07.17 00.37 that was a heck of a ting wakeboarding, holy jeez. that "sport" nearly cost me my life FOUR times last week. anyhoo i was watching a Shirt Tales tape but i couldnt take it anymore so me and myreen buried it away in the hunt. forking over the dough (pronto) wasnt as hard as id envisioned but it still tickled, and not in a good way if u catch my drift. so my frien Jal Billbert ivited me to play with his new snowblower and watch "The Best of Night Court(Maughn)" on DVD, we did them both to the original soundtrack of Splash and it was fucking great, damn hell ass bitch fucking grand! Lovingston Steer, Arbuckle ers Mood: Is It Friday Yet? Music: Billy Ocean

2002.07.01 01.09
butt punch

the dump truck bus


oh crap im late for the cunt bus		oh crap im late for the cunt bus


	FHAMBLEIGH!


	FILTH!


thats what i want (right now)	FHILTHSCHE!

Create your own NES Comic

the dump truck bus pharte thewe


oh wait that isn't what i wanted, nevermind	PHILM!


	PHLEGM!


	BONG-TOKIN' ALCOHOLICS!


there you are, you putrid fuck	YEAUGH. ITS ME AND YOU'RE GETTING (ME).

Create your own NES Comic

Mood: cunt drunk
Music: Unity - XrtX



	2002.06.18 00.42 when a songbird sings... O Mildred! My Mildred! My wife, my love We were wed on a thursday mor-ning What a lovely day, near a covered bridge In a grove near my grandfather's farm O Mildred! Sweet Mildred! With a heart so true, And a face like a summer's breeze You'll lift my heart and my spirit soars As we grow older with each coming mor-ning. Kimberly precious Kimberly kind My Kimberly with a love So warm and divine Sing to me A sweet lullaby To soothe my heart And make weary my eyes Cause the days are long On my father's corn fields And the evenings are all we have So rest my darling Rest with me Close your tired eyes My fair Kimberly Mood: thirsty Music: Tarkin's Theme - John Williams



	2002.05.01 14.46 Here I go again on my own... Awww sheeyat, just got back from Florida. At the airport there was this fucking leopard [Lee-oh-pard] that tried to get me to smoke weed and cut stuff out of construction paper (so naturally did I do the shit, aww yea) I said no. He did it to someone else and after they cut the first page he said "now give me back the scissors" and then gave him the second page and he was like "ok, here's the scissors" FUCK THAT NOISE (boys, toys, floats, etc.)Regardless of his attempts to thwart? my efforts of having a beachin good time with my boyfriend Trav [Tee-Rah-Vahr-Ay] we were sliding down the emergency chute in no time. Damn those airports and damn cute mousepads. So we're at the beach and this guy is surfing, he surfs up (hehehehe) and delivers a response, we acted upon this by choosing not to react (which is a [brave] action in and of itself). There goes the bus...Gotta Go! Mood: okay Music: Jim Varney We Hardly Knew Ye - XThe Terrible PeanutsX



	2002.03.07 13.16 holy crap dudes, holy crap Im not japing this time i swear to god. i just got out of school and my car had a ticket on it, so i peeled it off and stuck it to my steering wheel. it was just a warning so i was relieved, so i started driving away from school and it kept peeling so i folded it up and went to put it in the glove compartment, i was only going like 20, and i was looking down, fuckin mistakes everywhere. so yea, i hit a kid, Axel Shattuck on a bike. and i SWEAR TO GOD this really happened, i cried wolf, i fucked up, but this is totally for real. anyways i slammed the brakes when i saw him and it pretty much just knocked him over. i got oout of the car expecting like a bloody mess but he was just a little dusty, he wouldnt say a word to me though i kept asking if he was alright and he wouldnt answer, he just got back on and rode away. anyways, a couple people stopped to see what was going on, like Alex Z. and stuff but it was all set until i saw where the friggin kid was going. He pulled his bike into the police station and went inside, im really scared...this sucks. Mood: scared Music: police scanner



	2002.03.05 21.48 Fuck a fuckin....aww shit im sorry look guys, this wasnt what i thought was gonna happen. i kinda ran out of ideas on how to make freddie prinze a crazy guy so i decided to pull a stunt after watching this andy kaufman tape i have. anyways, i didnt realized this many people would actually care, im literally crying to see how many people were concerned. im a fucking dick and deserve to be shot for my tasteless attempts at humor. so, in raising so much attention in my most recent post i think ill have little choice but to bow out of the comedic message board scene, its been a hell of a ride kids...hell of a ride Love, Robert E Walles II Frederick Prinze Junior



	2002.03.04 21.50 yea definately didn't expelled...nope ok look i know i said id never do this again but i really need to be serious like one last time. something happened today and i havent told anyone yet and i didnt know who to tell first so i guess ill tell everyone at the same time, so here goes. the day started out okay enough i guess, i got up late, took my time coming in, checked into school around the end of first period. so everythings going fine then i make the mistake of saying "okay". i went to see how my friends leila and jen spent their vacation, they were doing homework and stuff so me and this kid alex zakos got up and went to go to the school store, before we left the table leila came over to me and was all like "pleeease get me some gum while your in there ill pay you back i promise" so i of course said ok, first mistake. we get to the store and its completely dark and theres no one inside, the door to the marketing room was closed. i pretended to be all bummed out and banged the glass crying, but when i did i noticed that the door was open, not unlocked but not closed, so i decided to open it, second mistake. after i went in alex took off and i grabbed a soda then some gum, i know it was stupid and i still really dont know why i did, it was fucking dumb, maybe it was just too early or something, so anyways of course who should walk through the door but Mr. Johnson and the marketing teacher, Johnson tells me to come to his office at 1230 sharp and im fucked. like i said i havent told anybody so the rest of the day wasreally kinda shaky and miserable, johnson said i was expelled for the rest of the year after thursday and i can come back in the summer for senior english and shit then get my diploma afterwards, this really sucks you know what i mean? anyways freddie will be back when i feel a little better, by the way bob tony steve and mike and tad thanks for hanging out today it really kinda relieved a lot of stress for me. Mood: worried Music: I am the killer - Thursday



	2002.02.25 00.46 My thermos has a crack in it, time for a dirt nap... Ok kids, uncle freddie's a little upset tonight so no goofy antics. They had the fucking balls to finally do it and i never saw it coming. oh how foolish it was that i should be so unprepared. I turned on the television expecting space ghost and hillarious antics, what i got was popeye, tom and jerry fucking each other in the ass for three hours. thats right, adult swim (the only television worth watching) has joined strange luck and family dog in the short lived, awesome show graveyard so now im gonna go hang out with my puppy and slash my wrists, im out fuckers. Mood: irate Music: drip drip drip (blood, cuz i cut myself (cuz im upset))



	2002.02.21 15.24 Diamond Dalla$ Pants Ate My Balls! Front Door: check the switchboard for no activity, bounce on down to the jacknife vacinity. Back Door: look all over for some overwashed jeans, man where the fuck are my overwashed jeans Cellar Door(skeletor): Jump from my boat, look around for the duck, after i get home find some mice to watch I can't believe you can read my mind BELIEVE IT ALREADY! So it's thursday, which reminds me of all the crappy people i have to entertain today at Prinzehouse (leeward). At about three they all shuffle in and its time once again for everybody to pull their pants up just a little higher (spring times a commin you homo-bastards)two hundred balloons, it was the song to that first batman movie, where the joker is at the fancy restaurant thing/art exhibit, anyway its by prince and i really think you all have some serious growing up to do. Mood: intimidated Music: that off time song by Joan



	2002.02.08 00.16 To his penis I was thankful, to his wife my spite grew and grew... So yea, Daniel DeFoe is at my sister's place with me and we're watching some lame college basketball or some shit, they go to a commercial and the fuckin guy puts his feet on the coffee table! I mean not only do I come from a family where that sort of behavior is inexcusable but jesus christ! I eat off that god damned table! So anyways after the first few punches his face softened up and he went limp, that's when it gets fun. You wait for them to get like this then youre faced with some options you: A. Flip him upside down, hang him by his feet naked and tie a rock to his penis 2. Go to the drive thru at Burger King with him in the passenger seat, order tons of food, pay, then drive off as quickly as possible just as they go to give you the food Article IV: face the bad guys with one of your friends moving him so he looks like hes dancing along to the music Or the Cantalope,;;> Bird watching sucks Mood: working Music: Man in the Box- Alice in Chains

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